A Quarter Century of Me

So, I'm 25. Today.

Which makes it my birthday.

What do I want?

Well...some of this will be nice.

But, what do I really want?

What am I striving for this year? What are my life's plans, goals, dreams?

...

...

Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe next year, I should wish for some decisiveness.

Every Time I Almost Die

Queer Scouts

Finally, A Fetish Ice Cream.

If you were hoping for some sort of "Twilight" themed blood vampire flavor,

you are still, unfortunately, going to have to wait.

But, if you have a lactation fetish, there is good news! Yes, just what you've been hoping for, ice cream made from human breast milk.

Apparently, they're keeping the flavoring simple (maybe so you can really enjoy that straight-from-the-bosom taste?) using only vanilla and lemon zest along with Victoria Hiley's milk.*

*Side Note: Victoria was the first donor, but other women are now coming

forward to offer their breast milk. According to the Daily Mail, women who

donate are being compensated 15 British Pounds for every 10 ounces of milk.

(Always good to see new career choices in a sagging economy!)

Looking forward to trying this delicious treat for yourself? Well, as of right now, you'll have to wait until they make the next batch. Despite selling for a relatively expensive 14 British Pounds - or $22.50 USD - per serving, the store has sold out of their newest flavor.

Judge Blames Victim For Sexual Assault: Convicted Perpetrator Receives No Jail Time

As reported today by the Winnipeg Free Press, a convicted rapist will not being going to jail because, according to the judge's sentencing, because the perpetrator was simply "insensitive to the fact that [she] was not a willing participant," and didn't even bother to threaten her with a weapon.

Judge Dewar went on to further blame the victim by saying that she sent signals that "sex was in the air." And that there were "inviting circumstances" that the victim created by being at a bar wearing high heels and a tube top.

Dewar went on to further dismiss and minimize the perpetrator's behavior by saying that it was "a case of misunderstood signals and inconsiderate behaviors."

So, let's see what we've learned from this judge:

1) It's not a "real" rape if there isn't a weapon or threats of death used.

2) Women invite people to sexually assault them, or, they do if they go to the wrong place or wear the wrong things. For example, if they leave the home, or stop wearing a burka.

3) Sometimes sexual assault is just "inconsiderate," like not holding the door for someone. Not all sexual assault is bad or morally reprehensible.

And, if you are not disgusted at this from a victim-centered standpoint, think of what this means for men as a whole. Like one of the commentators wrote, this judge has assumed that "all men are just oblivious, bumbling, opportunistic predators" who lack "common sense, decency, and free will." And therefore, if you "put anything mildly attractive in front of their face, and they can't help but start raping."

Obama Administration Decides To Be Awesome.

How?

(You may be asking yourself.)

By finally acknowledging that the Defense of Marriage Act is unconstitutional and by refusing to continue to defend challenges against the law in courts.

As quoted in an article on NPR, the new Attorney General Eric Holder released a press statement today stating that President Obama's position is that DOMA is "unnecessary and unfair."

It took two years for this to happen, and it's still a mystery as to why the administration felt the need to defend the law in the first place, but at least the federal government is no longer protecting DOMA.

Hooray for movement toward equality!

How much is your life worth?

Remember that post where I mentioned that women's lives are worth 2/3rds of mens?

Well, according to the pay outs to families of 9/11 victims, it is not just based on your gender: you also are more valuable according to the paycheck you were already earning and your occupation.

So, we don't have classes in America, right?

I'm Judging You + Your Pot

Am I the only one left who is still judgmental about this drug?

Okay, okay.

I know. Perfectly nice people smoke pot.

And, it doesn't hurt anyone.

(Usually.)

And, it's not really that different from alcohol.

Certainly, not much more harmful, anyhow.

So, stop being judgmental.

I don't judge you about your cake, fatty.

Alright. Alright.

Give me a chance to explain.

...

You're not supposed to smoke pot!

Remember: This is your brain on drugs!

And, stoners...they're underachievers!

And they smell like smoke.

It was the bad kids in high school who smoked.

And, it seems like a lame coping skill.

And, it's annoying.

Annoying?

Yeah. It seems like they don't want to do anything that isn't "420 friendly."

Okay. I don't have great reasons.

They're probably the same ones that people's parents give.

But, I'm still gonna judge you.

Maybe it isn't right.

But I'm judging you and your pot.

Everyone Who Ever Lived

The poster represents roughly what the title says: every person who lived and died on the planet, from 3200 B.C.E. to 2009 C.E. The total paper area represents the 78 billion people who lived over the past 5000 years. The gaping hole in the center represents every person who died in a major war, genocide, or massacre: approximately 969 million people, or 1.25% of the total number of people who have ever lived on the planet.

Text is printed in transparent ink on plastic (shown as white on black, right). The circles at the top represent the number of conflicts per millennium with more than 1000 deaths, and the circle of text lists them by name. The bottom circle represents the expected number of conflicts in the next millennium if the escalating pattern continues.

Peter Crnokrak, Everyone Who Ever Lived

Well, we might be over-medicating our population...

But considering that my sinuses are punching me in the face right now, today, I'm glad for this.

via Natalie Dee.

Gender Pay Gap

While we learned recently that lesbian women earn more than heterosexual women, it's still true that women earn less than men. For example, the Washington Post reported that women in management earn 81 cents to every dollar that men in the same positions earn.

To expand on exploring this, the blog Sociological Images, posted the following chart:

What strikes me as interesting about this chart is that some of the traditionally male-dominated fields, like construction, agriculture, mining, are some of the closest to equal in terms of pay, with construction at over 90 cents to every male dollar.

While fields that tend to have more women, like education and health services, retail, and administration, fair pretty poorly, between 75 and 80 cents for women to one dollar for men.

I'm not sure as to the cause, but I could hypothesize that fields that have attracted women for a number of years, now, feel no need to pay them equal wages - they already have women who will gladly accept their lesser earnings. In contrast, in order to attract female employees, some male-dominated fields may have increased earnings.

The Almost-Kiss

Everyone needs some gratuitous lesbian photography on a Friday night. Especially when it features that delicious moment of the almost-kiss and the accompanying anticipation and excitement.

You're welcome.

**View more of this photographer's work on his website.**

Community Accountability Wheel

The Quick and Dirty Vocabulary Guide to Gender and Sexual Expressions

Asexual - A person who is not interested in or does not desire sexual activity, either within or outside of a relationship.

Note: Asexuality is not the same as celibacy, which is the willful decision to not act on sexual feelings.

Assigned Sex - Sex recorded at birth by a doctor, on the basis of socially defined external genitalia.

Bisexual - A description for people who are emotionally, erotically, and/or physically attracted to males and females.

Cisgender - A description of people whose gender identity is the same as their assigned sex at birth.

Closeted - Hiding one's sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

Coming Out

(Personal) - Becoming aware of one's own sexual orientation and/or gender identity.

(Social) - Revealing one's own sexual orientation and/or gender identity to others.

Cross-dresser - Someone who periodically dresses and/or expresses themselves as opposite to their assigned sex, but do

not desire to change their birth sex. They dress-up for a variety reasons, including self-expression, personal enjoyment, and/or sexual gratification. Many cross-dressers are heterosexual.

Drag King/Queen - People who dress as members of the "other" sex periodically, for the purpose of entertainment, making a political statement, and/or expressing their own masculine or feminine side.

Dyke - A sometimes derogatory term that usually refers to a lesbian woman. Some members of the LGBTQ community have reclaimed the term, but others still consider it offensive.

Fag - A sometimes derogatory term that usually refers to a gay man. Some members of the LGBTQ community have reclaimed the term, but others still consider it offensive.

FTM / F2M (female-to-male) - A trans individual who was assigned the female sex at birth who identify as male some or all of the time.

Gay - A term that is often used to describe a male-identified person who is emotionally, erotically, and/or physically attracted to some other male-identified people. Sometimes, gay is used as a catch-all phrase for people who identify as homosexual.

Gender - A collection of traits thought by a culture to be associated with maleness/masculinity or femaleness/femininity.

Gender Expression - The way that individuals present their appearance and/or mannerisms to express their gender.

Gender Identity - How one experiences and conceptualizes one's own gender: regardless of biological sex.

Genderqueer - A description for people who do not identify as either male or female, but rather something outside the traditional binary gender system.

Heterosexual - Someone who is emotionally, erotically, and/or physically attracted to people of the "opposite" gender/sex.

Homosexual - Someone who is emotionally, erotically, and/or physically attracted to people of the "same" gender/sex.

Intersex - A generalized term for people who are born with reproductive or sexual anatomy that does not fit the traditional definitions of female or male.

Lesbian - A female-identified person who is emotionally, erotically, and/or physically attracted to some other female-identified people.

MSM (men who have sex with men) - Male-identified individuals who have sex with other male-identified individuals.

MTF / M2F (male-to-female) - A trans person who was assigned the male sex at birth and who identify as female some or all of the time.

Pansexual - A person who is emotionally, erotically, and/or physically attracted to some individuals of any gender identity.

Queer - Having a sexual orientation, sex, gender identity, or gender expression different from those deemed "normal" by mainstream society. The term has been reclaimed by some, but others in the LGBTQ community find it derogatory.

Sex - Categorization as male, female, or intersex by the shape of genitalia or other biological features.

Sexual Orientation - Describes a person's pattern of romantic, erotic, or physical attraction to individuals of a particular gender or genders.

SGL (same gender lover) - A term sometimes used instead of homosexual.

Straight - A term for someone who identifies as heterosexual and cisgender.

Trans - A term that describes a gender identity and/or gender expression that is outside of the gender binary social norms.

Transgender - Describes individuals who cross over gender identities without necessarily changing their bodies.

Transsexual - Describes people whose gender identity does not match the culturally assigned gender identity for their anatomical sex and who generally desire a physical transition that includes hormones and/or surgery.

WSW (women who have sex with women) - female-identified individuals who have sex with female-identified individuals.

This list was adapted from a publication of the Washington Coalition Sexual Assault Programs. The original document can be found in .pdf format here.

51% of Republicans Are Delusional.

Okay, that's not exactly true.

But, according to Public Policy Polling that was released today, 51% of registered Republicans who vote in the primaries believe that Obama was not born in the US. If this is true (the sample size for the survey was only 400), then it's pretty scary.

So, who are these people who still can't accept that sometimes non-white people are born inside the United States? According to a 2009 survey, the majority of them are Republican (okay, no surprise there) and from the South.

So, is it more accurate for me to say that Republican Southerners are delusional? Well, probably not, but I sure am tempted.

Sometimes, it seems like we must be living in two different realities - two completely divergent universes. In one, Obama is an illegal immigrant, and in the other, he's our 44th president. It is a bizarre world we live in. Truly.

Will you be convicted for rape?

So, let's say you decide to sexually assault someone.

Your pick: any gender, age, race, religion, orientation, or ability.

Now, depending upon some of the other factors, it might be more or less likely that you will be reported, successfully prosecuted, and sentenced to serve time in jail or prison.

In general, you will be less likely to serve time in jail for sexually assaulting a young child who is pre-verbal, someone with a mental illness or developmental abilities, or an elderly adult who is reliant upon you. Or, you could always choose to sexually assault someone who is somehow ostracized or part of a minority group who rarely receives justice.

But, even if you don't want to sexually assault someone from a more vulnerable population, don't worry: you still probably won't be held accountable for your crime! According to RAINN.org, 94% of rapists never spend a day in jail.

So, congratulations. Most likely, you will be able to brutalize your victim without repercussions!**

**Well...without repercussions to you. Your victim will be 3 times more likely to suffer from depression, 4 times more likely to contemplate suicide, 6 times more likely to be diagnosed with PTSD, 13 times more likely to abuse alcohol, and 23 times more likely to abuse drugs.

Republican Proposed Budget Cuts

Among the cuts: funding for victims of crime and funding for NPR and PBS.

But, those fiscally conservative Republicans who are going to take on big government: how much are they actually planning on cutting?

Yup, 1/4th of 1 percent.

Thanks, Tea Partiers, for solving that fiscal crisis for us!

Vegan Vulva Cake

Yes, I'm a feminist.

Yes, I'm a lesbian.

Yes, I'm liberal minded about sex.

Yes, I'm a vegetarian.

Yes, I like baked goods.

Yes, I appreciate the skill of cake decorating.

And, finally, yes, I appreciate jokes.

Despite all of that...

Even I don't want a $250 "Happy Birthday" Vegan Vulva Cake.*

*But if you do, here's the link. Enjoy!

Valentines Day Charts

I have a wonderful, beautiful girlfriend who I am crazy in love with, but I still can't stop myself from posting bitter Valentines Day related items. I think I just love the seasonal spirit of misery and loathing. :)

Happy Token Gesture Day!

From Natalie Dee.

Update on Me

I'm stressed about work. This is not some sort of unique story, and I certainly don't bring any unique perspective to it. It's mostly a matter of too much to do, and not enough time to do it. Same old work story. But, for me, to make matters worse, my "to do"s involve real people's lives and crises - and so my guilt eats away at me every day for somehow not making each minute last an hour.

I also got an update on my abusive exes: apparently, they are planning on getting married. Somehow, it still makes me sick to my stomach to hear about them. And, I keep hoping that they will break up - and not for the reasons that they should (since I'm certain my ex-girlfriend is still being physically and sexually assaulted), but just because I want to be proven right that they wouldn't last. It's selfish thinking, and childish, but everything about that relationship brought out the worst in me.

So, between those two things, I'm feeling frustrated and upset. But, I'm hoping that I can put things into perspective, soon. I can recognize that I have a wonderful, loving fiancee, so it shouldn't matter if two other people are miserable together. I can also accept that there is only so much that I can do, and the rest is out of my control.

Boring blog post, I know. But, it's good to get it out, sometimes. Next time, I promise I'll post something less personal and more external.

I Love Charts

I do love charts, and get much amusement from the blog.

But, also, I appreciate the co-creators of this blog, especially their stances in regards to supporting women.

Jason, one of the guys who runs this blog, recently stated:

"It is my intention to keep this blog open-minded and post content that differs from my point of view as well as content whose views I espouse. However, I do draw the line at material that is clearly biased, ill-researched, or supports any sort of bigotry. Usually the material which falls into the latter category is of a misogynistic nature. Linguistic negativity towards women is a particularly overlooked transgression, though it is subtly present in countless social reflexes."

I love when people get it. I just love it.

Born Gay

There's a relatively new blog, started in January 2011, entitled "Born This Way!" The blog features pictures of people, when they were children, who self-identify as LGBTQ, and provides their narrative accompanying the picture - usually focusing on how/when they discovered that they were gay.

Most of the pictures are very cute.



And many of them seem rather stereotypical.


But even more interesting than the pictures, many of the essays accompanying the pictures are incredibly touching, like from this post, where Txus writes about her one-year-old self,

"I love this poor, sweet, queer girl -

because back then I didn't know

that life could be so hard for tender

and different people."

This blog is worth a look, especially for the stories of self-acceptance, and maybe for a laugh or two at some of the picture.

National Porn Sunday

It's not what you think.

Instead, it's a reaction against pornography by evangelical churches. Craig Gross, who produced a sermon on the subject, says that "48% of Christian families are dealing with the issue of pornography in their home," and that "the other 52% are just unaware."

Other studies, agreeing with Gross's stats, have said that the bible belt also corresponds with the largest pornography consumption.

Now, if you think this over-indulgence in porn, doesn't make sense, given evangelical's positions on all things sex related (same-sex couples, sex before marriage), you'd be right. In fact, Gross further goes on to point out the hypocrisy of many churches, stating, "instead of the church boycotting or picketing or legislating against the porn industry, if [those in] the church would just stop consuming porn, we'd put a big dent in the porn industry."

So, Mr. Gross, I probably would not agree with you on many points, but, at least, you're trying to make your religious viewpoints less hypocritical. Hold those good old Christian boys accountable.