Be Thankful For Not Being A Turkey

While I understand that messages like these are usually just more controversial and off putting than they are able to change hearts and minds, I still think it's good that at least someone is talking about the national torture, slaughter, and consumption of turkeys day.

Foodscapes

Photographer Carl Warner has decided to combine the childhood art of playing with your food, photography, and photoshop to create quaint and edible landscapes.

Apparently, I am the last person to find out about these super cool creations, as he began to make this type of artwork a few years ago.

But, maybe you're even further behind in that tiny niche of food art then I am, and these will be brand new and fascinating for you.

The only thing that would make his artwork cooler is if he only used vegetarian and organic ingredients. (He does just this opposite in a few pictures: making landscapes primarily consisting of deli meats.)

The other downside to this medium? It makes you wonder about the opulence and excess of those of us who live in the Western hemisphere. Is it really fair to be using food as art when there are people who are malnourished? (And, yes, this applies to you, preschoolers, and your macaroni art. Don't think you get let off the hook.)

However, if you're not concerned about the moral implications, you could go and check out more of his work on his website, if you feel so inclined.

Stonewall Kitchen

Like most people, I've been trying to become more of a localivore.

For years, now, I've been enjoying local produce from farms where the food is grown usually only a mile or two from my doorstep. But, sometimes, you need something a little bit more decadent than corn and green beans.

So, I was pretty thrilled when my trip to Portsmouth (while I was sick, yes) this weekend included a stop at a Stonewall Kitchen store. They've been in existence for about twenty years now and they are a lot more than just jam (although, those are pretty amazing).

While I was there, I picked up some of the Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramel Sauce

...and, yes, it is freaking good as it sounds. You'll want to eat it with a spoon, but, to be dignified instead, use it drizzled on some green apples or dip in a pretzel or two.

My girlfriend, who is more interested in the spicy and salty flavors, fell in love with the Raspberry Salsa. It was a touch too spicy for me, but I have a 'delicate' palate.

So, here I am, without getting any free giveaways or making a commission, promoting their products. If you live in New England, make a trip to one of their stores. If you live outside the area, you could go ahead and order some products online, but it might make sense to find something as equally delicious in your own backyard (although, if no one makes Dark Chocolate Sea Salt Caramel Sauce in your neighborhood, I'd forgive you for breaking down and having it shipped - it truly is too good to pass up.)

Sesame Seed Balls

These may not look like much, but these are heaven's balls. (Which are only 600 times better then male testicles, I swear. These aren't salty or sweaty; only sweet and delicious.)

You haven't heard of them before? Well, that's 'cause you probably have never had one of the best brunches ever: dim sum. Don't get me wrong, our Western breakfasts are awesome, and I am planning a crepe blog post soon (have patience, mon petit chou), but you never really get anything umami out of our Western brunches.

Sesame Seed Balls are served at dim sum, but, fortunately, can also be found at Chinese bakeries even until the afternoon (although, they were probably made in the morning, so they're less fresh later on in the day). But, what's great about them aside having the delightful sesame flavor plus the sweetness of lotus nut paste? Well, there's many things, but the next most important one is that they're vegan. Yes, that's right: tasty, delicious, and animal-product free.

So, even though I have yet to make this recipe at home myself, here it is for you. (If you don't want to make a batch at home, either, hit up Chinatown and just enjoy. In Boston, they're only $.60 a piece. The best sixty cents you'll have ever spent.)

Ingredients:

1 1/2 cups glutinous rice flour

1/4 cup + 2 tablespoons brown sugar

1/2 cup boiling water

lotus nut paste

1/2 cup sesame seeds

a bowl of cold water

oil for frying

The bulk of the ball is just the glutinous rice flour, brown sugar and boiling water. Those three ingredients are combined and kneaded until they form a dough. A teaspoon of the lotus nut paste is put inside a well created in each pinched off piece of dough, and then the balls are cinched shut. Next, they're dunked in cold water and rolled in sesame seeds. Finally, they're fried in oil to give them their golden color. For details and more on the recipe see Hell Yeah It's Vegan!

Apple Oat Scones

Here in New England, summer has been creeping away, leaving us fully in the throes of Fall. The trees are yellowing to red. The world smells like hay. And the apples are crisp, tart, and plentiful.

Using apples from our local farm, I recently made some scrumptious Apple Oat Scones (recipe courtesy of the Wakefield Inn).

Ingredients:

2 Cups Flour

1/4 Cup Sugar

1/4 Cup Oats

1 Tablespoon Baking Soda

1/2 Teaspoon Salt

1 Teaspoon Cinnamon

1/4 Teaspoon Ground Cloves

1 Apple

1 Egg

1 Cup Heavy Cream

Now, this is a devastatingly easy recipe. And when they are warm out of the oven - tender with subtle, delicious flavors - it will taste like you spent much longer than the half hour it takes to make these scones.

After sifting together the dry ingredients, you add a peeled, cored, and diced apple to the mixture. The egg and cream are combined separately and then folded in to the dry ingredients (in as few strokes as possible).

After generously flouring a flat surface, the dough is separated in half, formed into (approximately 6 inch diameter) circles, and then cut into wedges of four or six.

The scone wedges should now be placed onto a baking stone or a metal sheet lined with parchment paper and placed into an oven preheated to 400 degrees. These scones only bake for 12-15 minutes and are a beautiful golden brown color when finished.

Golden Delicious Circles of Crunchy Wonder

First things first, get yourself some onions. Mine are Vidalias and from our local farm (where I was formerly employed - fun fact).

Slice onions and break apart the circles.

Next step, apply beer liberally to a bowl. If you're making these at the end of the summer season, it's best to use the left over beer that people brought to barbecues or picnics. No one is going to drink this beer, (It's Pabst Blue Ribbon, isn't it? It's okay, I'm not judging your redneck friends.) and beer doesn't get better with age.

Add flour and cayenne.

As always, salt and pepper. (Preferably in 1970s shakers like mine, if possible.)

Whisk this all up into a nice foamy, delicious looking batter. Dredge the onions in it. Make sure to flip them over and get both sides coated well. For extra crunch and texture, you can sprinkle them with panko or even add it into the batter.

Oh, did I mention that while you were doing this, you should be heating up some oil? Yeah, that would've been smart. It doesn't really matter what kind you use, and I always just buy buckets of extra virgin olive oil and put that in everything (even baked goods - you'd be surprised, it works).

Unless you have a deep frier, this oil you should've been heating will be in a regular skillet, about an inch deep. And this oil needs to be HOT. Like "don't let your small children anywhere near the kitchen" hot. You should feel comfortable that it would give you third degree burns if someone poured it on you from a castle wall. So, in conclusion, nice and hot.

Time to fry the onions. They'll take a few minutes. Leave them in until they're golden.

Allow them some time to cool before eating.

C'est fini.

Recipe*
2 Large Vidalia Onions
1-1/2 Bottles of Beer
1 Cup of Flour
Salt
Pepper
Cayenne
Panko (if desired)

*None of the measurements are exact. Go with what tastes right/looks right to you. Try it out a few times, tweak it, change it up, make it even better, and then post a blog about it. I dare you.